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[Mar. 25th, 2008|11:43 am] |
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So, after almost three years I've finally accepted that this house is my home. It was something I subconsciously fought with ever since we moved in. I didn't want to settle. To be honest, I'd gotten used to the nomadic lifestyle I'd been living all through my late teens and twenties.
It was kind of romantic, in a sense. A new set of walls every year or so, sometimes even less. Everything I owned could be packed into my car. It was like some kind of bizarre sense of freedom in knowing that no matter what I wasn't bound to any single place. As I look back on it now, I'm glad I did it. It taught me a lot about myself and the friends in my life. I learned what truly matters in life* and what doesn't**. I was the poorest, monetarily, I'll probably ever be, yet I never really felt it. It was, in short, a great period of adventure in my life.
But now, I think I'm ready to relax. Ready to move on into the next stage of the journey. But, even in stability I still have a romantic view of things. I've always seen my life through a filter of fantasy and liked to imagine myself as some kind of idealized amalgam of knighthood. At least that's my aspiration. And as I decide now to settle down and turn my life towards a home and a wife it feels like a surprisingly logical step. After all, a knight can't be errant forever.
That's not to say I'm totally content or satisfied by this home of mine. Far from it. There's so much work to be done and most of the time I have no clue how the hell I'm going to accomplish it. But this is my castle, and I'm going to build it as strong as possible. The thing is, this is no longer a task to be completed for my wife-to-be or my unconcieved children, for the first time this is my task. My house. My home.
* The family we build ourselves
** Everything else. |
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| Comments: |
Dude, I tried calling you on Monday night to see what was going on but I didn't get an answer.
That was probably for the best. Congrats on the epiphany and good luck.
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