| Catharsis |
[Mar. 22nd, 2008|12:39 pm] |
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So, yesterday was probably the most difficult day of my life in recent memory. Not necessarily the course of events, but the things that happened forced me to take a long hard look at who I am and what I want my life to become.
It hurt. I haven't hurt like that in nearly a decade. But pain can be cleansing, and when I took the time to look at the source of my suffering I realized that I had brought it all upon myself and that in the end, if I found the strength, I could stop the pain.
The problem is that I felt too weak, too soft, too lazy. So I took the last lane out: I prayed. It helped. I'm still not sure what I believe, but all I know is that it helped. It gave me reserves of strength I needed to survive. I never felt revitalized or anything magical or miraculous. I just was able to trudge on, to soldier on. It kept me from giving up.
And if it works, then I'll do it. |
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