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Holding Fast on this Journey of Life [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
James Spahn

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Geek Overload [Jul. 25th, 2009|03:47 pm]
Holy shit, Season Two of Clone Wars looks AMAZING
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Game last night [Jul. 23rd, 2009|12:35 pm]
[Current Music |Rob Dougan - Left Me For Dead]

Last night's game went very, very well. I was impressed by the role playing from all of my players and really enjoyed seeing them finally start to react to the world and become more proactive in their goals and desires. A little inner-party conflct reared its ugly head when my PCs started fighting over some magic items, but that was dealt with fairly quickly. At this point I am very pleased to see my party taking such a proactive stance in the world and I really hope it continues.
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Gamer Angst [Jul. 21st, 2009|11:27 am]
[Current Mood | contemplative]

So, I've been running a D&D 4e game on Wednesday nights now for about six weeks or so. My players seem to be having a grand ol' time, and that's cool - but I'm not. They enjoy the beer n pretzels nature of the campaign, but I want something deeper. Its getting more difficult to stay motivated to run the game with each passing week and I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to disappoint my players and I know they're not interested in playing something different or really investing much more than they already have into the game. I don't want to end their fun, but at the same time DMing should not be a chore.

Maybe I should just take it light, like they do. Or, maybe I should start planning my next campaign while still working on this one. I can make the two of them have common elements and maybe draw them into something a little deeper the next time around.
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My Return [Jul. 20th, 2009|03:37 pm]
[Current Mood | cranky]
[Current Music |E.S. Posthumus - Isfahan]

I know it's been forever since I updated this thing and no one probably even pays attention to LJ anymore, but frankly I kind of miss it. In an era of Facebook and Twitter when everything is thrown at you in an easily digestible micro-format, I think its nice to take five minutes and take a look at someone's thoughts past 160 characters. Are we that amped up on RedBull and Starbucks that we can only spare ten seconds to read about whats going on in the world? And really, what can we say in 150 characters? More importantly, who gives a fuck? Do we really need to tweet that we're in dire need of a latte? What makes someone's caffiene addiction so damned important that we feel the need to whip out the old iPod and let the world know? Have we become that self important?

Speaking of self important, I wanted to take longer than just a sentence to say something, so I downloaded Semagic and am making an effort to update my LJ more often. Maybe breathe some life into the old girl. She's been good to me over the years and like a favorite book, its time to blow the dust off the jacket and get it off the shelf. So here we go again, alright?

I'm running a 4th Edition D&D game at the moment and its really not as fulfilling as I'd hoped. My players seem to be having a great time merrily trouncing around the Forgotten Realms putting their swords into things until XP comes out, but there is very little coherent plot and when I try to present one I feel like they just follow along, waiting to be spoon-fed. Only one of them has shown any interest in achieving personal goals for his character. Everyone else is just happy to following the bouncing ball. I want drama, tension, angst and struggle. I want conflict and questioning, character growth and soul searching. Most people will say that I'm playing the wrong game if thats what I want, but I really feel like that in this case its that the majority of my players are just happy with beer and pretzels games and I'm coming to the conclusion that my own satisfaction at the gaming table requires something a bit more introspective and dynamic.

Oh, and my dishwasher broke. Fuck.
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In Nomine [Feb. 19th, 2009|08:32 am]
[Current Mood | creative]
[Current Music |Juno Reactor - Labyrinth]

So I love Christian mythology. Always have. Damn near became a priest because of it. So, why is it that I've got a copy of In Nomine sitting in my shelf, along with the Game Master's Guide and I've managed to not run the game in the 5 years I've owned it.

I'll tell you why: Book organization. I can't wade through the book long enough to find out how you make a freakin' character. Yet, I really, really, really want to run this game.

So, if anyone's got some advise or ideas, encouragement or page numbers, let me know.
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My Fellow Americans... [Jan. 15th, 2009|08:05 pm]
[Current Mood | frustrated]

Dear America,

Barrack Obama is not the Messiah. He is not the Second Coming of Christ. He is not the Savior of Mankind. He is just a man. Just like you. Just like me. He is human and he is, like the rest of us, flawed. He will make mistakes and through the course of his presidency he will probably be forced to break a few promises or make some choices you don't agree with. Just like every president before him.
When this happens and you feel a sense of righteous indignation boiling up inside of you, remember this: You're the one who put him on a pedestal. You're the one who refused to speak up until public opinion was on your side, or worse yet - until the media told you to do so. You're the one who is expecting Barrack Obama to fix your problems.
Sorry, that's not how it works. Fix your own problems. Take responsibility for your actions. Accept the consequences of your choices. If you do these things and the guy in the White House is still throwing a monkey wrench into your life remember that you have a voice, you can learn your rights, and if you still disagree with the way things go you have another vote in four years.

Sincerely,
James M. Spahn
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My Turkey Day is now perfect [Nov. 27th, 2008|10:57 am]
Holy shit... The cartoon Chowder just Rickroll'd the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

Score!
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I should be in bed by now, but... [Nov. 10th, 2008|01:55 am]
[Tags|]
[Current Mood | groggy]

...I was up in the attic the other day, cleaning. Emily and I have been making serious progress on finally turning this place from a house and into a home - ya know, a real home. That small miracle aside, I was digging through all the mess we'd tossed haphazardly into the attic when I found this stack of old books. I mean, really old books - like at least 100 years or so. Maybe even older, who knows?

Well, I sat down on one of the chairs we had up there and as I opened the first book up I heard the clicking of Pippin's nails. I glanced up at him - he always makes me smile. He sat down right in front of me and just looked at me all expectantly. I laughed, like he always makes me laugh and just casually said, "What, Pip?"

He just wagged his tail. So I started to read.

Read more... )

Wierd, huh? I looked down at Pippin after reading some more. He was just wagging his little tail and giving me that perky expectant dog look. As always, I couldn't help but see a bit of merriment in his eyes. Anyway, I took a break from my cleaning for an hour or so, and stuffed the books back in the corner.

I'll check on them again soon.
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I found this on the journal of [info]satyrblade [Sep. 17th, 2008|11:05 am]
[Current Location |Home]
[Current Mood | Patriotic]
[Current Music |Anthem - Music from the Broadway Musical "Chess"]

This is from Deepak Chopra's MySpace blog.

"Obama and the Palin Effect"

Sometimes politics has the uncanny effect of mirroring the national psyche even when nobody intended to do that. This is perfectly illustrated by the rousing effect that Gov. Sarah Palin had on the Republican convention in Minneapolis this week. On the surface, she outdoes former Vice President Dan Quayle as an unlikely choice, given her negligent parochial expertise in the complex affairs of governing.

Her state of Alaska has less than 700,000 residents, which reduces the job of governor to the scale of running one-tenth of New York City. By comparison, Rudy Giuliani is a towering international figure. Palin's pluck has been admired, and her forthrightness, but her real appeal goes deeper.

She is the reverse of Barack Obama, in essence his shadow, deriding his idealism and exhorting people to obey their worst impulses In psychological terms the shadow is that part of the psyche that hides out of sight, countering our aspirations, virtue, and vision with qualities we are ashamed to face: anger, fear, revenge, violence, selfishness, and suspicion of "the other." For millions of Americans, Obama triggers those feelings, but they don't want to express them. He is calling for us to reach for our higher selves, and frankly, that stirs up hidden reactions of an unsavory kind. (Just to be perfectly clear, I am not making a verbal play out of the fact that Sen. Obama is black. The shadow is a metaphor widely in used before his arrival on the scene.) I recognize that psychological analysis of politics is usually not welcome by the public, but I believe such a perspective can be helpful here to understand Palin's message. In her acceptance speech Gov. Palin sent a rousing call to those who want to celebrate their resistance to change and a higher vision.

Look at what she stands for:
--Small town values -- a denial of America's global role, a return to petty, small-minded parochialism.

--Ignorance of world affairs -- a repudiation of the need to repair America's image abroad.

--Family values -- a code for walling out anybody who makes a claim for social justice. Such strangers, being outside the family, don't need to be heeded.

--Rigid stands on guns and abortion -- a scornful repudiation that these issues can be negotiated with those who disagree.

--Patriotism -- the usual fallback in a failed war.

--"Reform" -- an italicized term, since in addition to cleaning out corruption and excessive spending, one also throws out anyone who doesn't fit your ideology.

Palin reinforces the overall message of the reactionary right, which has been in play since 1980, that social justice is liberal-radical, that minorities and immigrants, being different from "us" pure American types, can be ignored, that progressivism takes too much effort and globalism is a foreign threat. The radical right marches under the banners of "I'm all right, Jack," and "Why change? Everything's OK as it is." The irony, of course, is that Gov. Palin is a woman and a reactionary at the same time. She can add mom to apple pie on her resume, while blithely reversing forty years of feminist progress. The irony is superficial; there are millions of women who stand on the side of conservatism, however obviously they are voting against their own good. The Republicans have won multiple national elections by raising shadow issues based on fear, rejection, hostility to change, and narrow-mindedness.

Obama's call for higher ideals in politics can't be seen in a vacuum. The shadow is real; it was bound to respond. Not just conservatives possess a shadow -- we all do. So what comes next is a contest between the two forces of progress and inertia. Will the shadow win again, or has its furtive appeal become exhausted? No one can predict. The best thing about Gov. Palin is that she brought this conflict to light, which makes the upcoming debate honest. It would be a shame to elect another Reagan, whose smiling persona was a stalking horse for the reactionary forces that have brought us to the demoralized state we are in.

We deserve to see what we are getting, without disguise.
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Because Joss Whedon told me to... [Jul. 17th, 2008|11:06 am]


Watch it. Love it. Spread the word.
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Midnight Ace and the Fang of Quetzalcotal [Jun. 3rd, 2008|08:38 am]
Chapter Two: Scarlet Solferino and the Aztecs )
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Midnight Ace and the Fang of Quetzalcotal [May. 31st, 2008|08:51 am]
[Tags|]
[Current Music |Battle Hymn of the Republic]

Chapter One: On the Wharf )
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Midnight Ace and the Androids of the Third Reich [May. 28th, 2008|01:06 pm]
[Tags|]

Midnight Ace and the Androids of the Third Reich )
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Midnight Ace and the Atomic Engine [May. 28th, 2008|01:02 pm]
[Tags|]

Prologue: The Baxter Legacy )
Chapter One: The First Flight of the Midnight Ace )
Chapter Two: Franky Two-Tone's Boss )
Chapter Three: The Explosive Debut )
Chapter Four: Clara Conway, Ace Reporter )
Chapter Five: A Hero Named )
Chapter Six: The Kidnapping )
Chapter Seven: Origins )
Chapter Eight: Midnight Ace to the Rescue! )
Chapter Nine: Warehouse 23 )
Chapter Ten: The Escape )
Chapter Eleven: Midnight over San Caballero )
Epilogue: The Baxter Tradition )
By: James M. Spahn
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Note to Self: [May. 20th, 2008|01:11 pm]
Great Scion Link:

http://www.colugo.org/jmcmurra/generators/inc/dhtml-suite/scion/scionscreen.php
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I hate cars [Apr. 21st, 2008|07:51 am]
In the past four weeks...

Broken Ignition Housing: $400.00
Broken Timing Chain two days later on the same vehicle: Totalled
Ripped Coolant Housing: $250.00
Bad seem on replacement Coolant Housing: 3 more days in shop, no charge.
Blown tire, next day: $50.00

Complete and total nervous break down: Priceless
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(no subject) [Apr. 5th, 2008|02:13 pm]
[Current Mood | geeky]

Call it really geeky, but I really want my own customized Viper Pilot Dog Tags.

Tell me that isn't too cool for school?
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(no subject) [Mar. 29th, 2008|10:53 am]
[Current Location |Home]
[Current Mood | bored]
[Current Music |Sinner's Prayer - BB King & Ray Charles]

A silly meme (courtesy of [info]satyrblade):
1. Post a list of ten TV shows or fandoms you follow (current or cancelled).

2. Have your friends list guess your favorite character from each show.

3. When guessed, bold the line and write a sentence about why you like the character.

4. Post in your own LiveJournal.

The List
Star Wars
Firefly - Malcolm Reynolds - He's got all the cool of Han Solo and all the angst of morally torn war veteran. He's broken and powerful at the same time.
Lord of the Rings - Samwise Gamgee - Because he's the embodiment of all virtues I aspire to one day possess.
Terminator
The Dresden Files
Battlestar Galactica (new)
The Dark Tower
Batman
Carnivale
Ravenloft
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(no subject) [Mar. 26th, 2008|01:49 am]
[Current Location |Home]
[Current Mood | hallucinagenic]
[Current Music |Who's Gonna Save My Soul - Gnarls Barkley]

I drift through tonight
echoes of Gnarls Barkley and chocolate milk
easing me on through
sex and salvation on my mind
present, but not important (not really, anyway)
I tell myself I'm just tired
poetry, like Prayer
I should go to bed
But the chill of a dead fireplace
It keeps me up at night
while I contemplate another drink
Fuck it (I say with shrug)
At least YouTube will keep me company
Where are you now, Tarentino?
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(no subject) [Mar. 25th, 2008|11:43 am]
[Current Location |Home]
[Current Mood | hopeful]
[Current Music |Ghost Riders in the Sky - Spiderbait]

So, after almost three years I've finally accepted that this house is my home. It was something I subconsciously fought with ever since we moved in. I didn't want to settle. To be honest, I'd gotten used to the nomadic lifestyle I'd been living all through my late teens and twenties.

It was kind of romantic, in a sense. A new set of walls every year or so, sometimes even less. Everything I owned could be packed into my car. It was like some kind of bizarre sense of freedom in knowing that no matter what I wasn't bound to any single place. As I look back on it now, I'm glad I did it. It taught me a lot about myself and the friends in my life. I learned what truly matters in life* and what doesn't**. I was the poorest, monetarily, I'll probably ever be, yet I never really felt it. It was, in short, a great period of adventure in my life.

But now, I think I'm ready to relax. Ready to move on into the next stage of the journey. But, even in stability I still have a romantic view of things. I've always seen my life through a filter of fantasy and liked to imagine myself as some kind of idealized amalgam of knighthood. At least that's my aspiration. And as I decide now to settle down and turn my life towards a home and a wife it feels like a surprisingly logical step. After all, a knight can't be errant forever.

That's not to say I'm totally content or satisfied by this home of mine. Far from it. There's so much work to be done and most of the time I have no clue how the hell I'm going to accomplish it. But this is my castle, and I'm going to build it as strong as possible. The thing is, this is no longer a task to be completed for my wife-to-be or my unconcieved children, for the first time this is my task. My house. My home.

* The family we build ourselves
** Everything else.
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